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Trans Day of Remembrance 2024

On November 20th from 6:30 – 8:30 PM, Spectrum will be hosting a candlelight vigil at Waterloo Town Square (75 King St. S.), to honor transgender lives lost. This event is open to the public. Please read more about the event below.

Agenda

6:30: Candle lighting / settling in the space

6:40: Welcoming drum song / thanksgiving address from Willow River Centre

6:50: Land Acknowledgement

6:55: Introduction / moment of silence

7:00 – 8:00: Main Speakers

8:00 – 8:25: Open microphone for the public to honor their loved ones

8:25 – 8:30: Closing / second moment of silence

Keep in mind this agenda is fluid, and depending on the length of speakers the evening may end earlier than 8:30 PM.

Location

Parking: There is a lot of parking options around Waterloo Public Square. The closest parking lots are on Caroline St., behind the LCBO. There is also a parking lot on the corner of Caroline St. and Erb St.

Public Transit: If you’re taking the bus, the #5 bus will take you directly to King / Waterloo Public Square. If you’re taking the light rail, there is a stop called Waterloo Public Square Station.

Accessibility: Public square is a wheelchair accessible spot. It also offers stone steps that will allow people to sit if needed. However, we do suggest bringing a towel, blanket, or pillow, as the stone can sometimes be cold or uncomfortable for long periods.

Bathrooms: There are gendered bathrooms inside of the Shops behind the Public Square. The Starbucks down King St. has a gender neutral bathroom, and there is the public outdoor bathroom which is fully accessible and gender neutral on King St./William St.

Outdoor Location: This event will only be called off if there is a severe weather advisory. While there will be tents for the resource tables and speakers, we suggest to come dressed for the weather. Be sure to dress warmly, as the nights are getting colder. The mall should be open, so you can step inside to warm up should you need to!

Resources: Candles will be provided all evening for this event. If you have a lighter, bring it along to speed up the process, but lighters will also be provided. We will also be serving warm drinks and baked goods, but you’re welcome to bring more, especially if you have dietary restrictions. Both OK2BME, ACCKWA, Spectrum, and SHORE Centre will have resource tables for you to learn more about mental health and peer support resources.

Things to Consider

Trigger Warning: Remembrance often goes hand-in-hand with current and real struggles we face. Please be aware that we may engage in topics that may be upsetting for some attendees, including discussions of violence and suicide. While we will have some peer support and mental health resources available, these can only provide a certain level of care. We suggest bringing a support person(s) or not attending if you think it would be too difficult to partake in the evening.

Fire Safety: This ceremony will have real candles and fire involved, so please be cautious with how you’re using your candle. Make sure to leave a lot of space with the people around you, and fully blow out your candle before disposing of it or taking it home with you. We will have a fire extinguisher on-site, but we hope not to have to use it if we’re all cautious of how we’re using our space. If you’re particularly adverse to fire, we will try to have a section for people with electric and other light sources to keep things relatively separate.

For any questions about the event, reach out at: info@ourspectrum.com

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Guest Post: performing bisexuality for others

This month’s guest post was written by Julia Cowderoy.

When I was 19 I posted a status on Facebook that said “when people ask me about my sexuality, I’m just going to start saying my thirst knows no bounds’. While that’s obviously hilarious I understand now that I was using humour as a faux shield against any kind of scrutiny (real or imagined). During this time I felt I had to “prove” my bisexuality in order for it to be valid. The irony of writing an essay to prove that I don’t have to prove anything is not lost on me, but just bear with me. 

I’ve realized that not feeling “queer enough” is a common theme within the bisexual community. Why is that? I’ve noticed that bisexual men are assumed to be gay, whereas bisexual women are painted with a broad brush as straight girls who drunkenly make-out with their friends for the enjoyment of their googly-eyed yokel boyfriends. In both instances, the attraction of men is the underlying motivation for expressions of sexuality.  

While I can’t wholly speak to the experiences of bisexual men, I will say that I’ve had straight men view my sexuality as a performance for their pleasure. (“Performance” is a useful word because it implies we are actors and bisexuality needs to look a certain way in order for it to be valid.) While trying to come to terms with my own sexuality I was influenced more by external sources than I understood at the time. 

I’ve had people in my life question my sexuality because I’ve never dated a woman, and recently my best friend even told me I was “90% into men”. She didn’t mean this maliciously; I’ve only dated men, so the judgement was based more on how I’ve presented than how I feel. The reality is that my attraction to people is more fluid rather than a rigid percentage. This interaction sent me into an anxiety spiral wondering if I was just cosplaying as a bisexual person this entire time.

When I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters as a peer mentor, I encouraged conversations about gender and sexuality. I marvelled at how accepting much of this younger generation is of sexuality and how they realize it isn’t static and doesn’t need to appear a certain way to be real. When I was that age I thought sexuality was something predetermined and permanent, and as such I had a lot of confusion surrounding my attraction to women since I considered myself straight. 

I’ve come a long way in understanding my sexuality, but there is still work to be done. I hope as a society we can come to a place of understanding that sexuality and gender are more complex than scientific definitions. And, like any sexuality, bisexuality isn’t some hypothesis that needs to be tested, experimented, cross-examined and held to rigorous scientific standards — it simply exists.

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